Crazy Kids & Regression

One of my favorites!! Love those piggies! This is Julieth peaking in the hotel window at me, she was outside and I inside. She was trying to be a stinker and peak in at me but not come inside. Sunday Brunch with our American friends at some nearby Jungle Restaurant. Not super impressed by the food but the Mojito was great! ;) Zahria with her buddies Ben & Lucas, enjoying a Sunday afternoon at the Bazaar at the nearby Hotel / Apartments. Julieth loving on a huge Christmas Bear here at the house. The bear is as big as she is! Not sure if it was the weather today, a bit dreary and drizzely, but all of the kids in the house were just off. Lots of whining and not sharing and some spitting and hitting too. A bit stressful today really. As of right now, there are 5 families in our hotel. The hotel has 6 bedrooms, so that is the most families that could be here at one time, and that is a lot. :) 3 of the families are from the USA (North Dakota, Missouri and Minnesota), one is from France and the other Portugal. 3 of us are adopting kiddos from FANA (One almost 2 year old, our almost 3 year old and another girl that just turned 3,) the other 2 kids are from other orphanages. It is a full house. ;) But I am thankful we are here and can enjoy the company of community. The days do get long here, and although I am trying to soak up my time with the girls, and attend to bonding, I missed home, and Chris, and Duke, today. The girls are both doing amazing though, little fits here and there and some jealousy is definitely playing out, but all in all, I couldn't feel more positive. I guess that I am not really that amazed at how amazing Zahria is taking to being a big sister, she feels a real sense of purpose and love. She is nonstop giggles, nonstop. She loves watching Julieth's faces, playing with her, 'helping' her, tickling her, etc. She is absolutely my big sister helper. That said, I am definitely quite aware that she has regressed a bit and is in need of extra attention. I know that she feels the split in time and is having a hard time, quietly, with this. I need to find a way to take mommy / Zahria dates while we are here, she needs me, and me alone, for just a bit! We do snuggle each night and she sleeps in my bed, until I can't take the teeth grinding and moving around anymore. ;) I am thankful that I have read the books, and attending the seminars, that I have so I understand the regression Zahria is going through. She now wants to be rocked at night again, which she hasn't wanted for probably 6 months. (ie - there is no rocking chair here, so I sit on our bed, with her blankie wrapped around her, and rock her back and forth.) She wants me to catch her when she comes down the slide, push her - big pushes, but not too big, on the swing, she even swings in the little kid swing at the big park. She has also started to do a bit of baby talk (which drives me INSANE!) but I try my best to deal before asking her to please talk like a big girl. I get where it is all coming from, she wants to be my baby still, she wants to know that she hasn't been replaced and that she is still my girl. I tell her this often. It is just tought to give her that special one on one time that she needs right now. I know that she too believes that being an older sister, and having a sister, is awesome, just sharing time is so hard sometimes. Even as an adult I get that! Love that girl so much!!! These two little girls are going to have so many good times together, and share so many giggles and memories. SO thankful for the gift of adoption!

Parque Jaime Duque & Randomness

A couple randoms: Julieth's first word was 'open,' yes open. She has a water bottle and I would say, Mommy open. So, she said, 'open.' Not so ultra romantic but funny. :) She now repeats many things we say. She knows Mommy, Daddy, Zahria, different animal noises, thank you, open, hello (but we still love her chipper, 'Hola' best!) It is funny because her psychologist said that she only knew a handful of Spanish words, but as little Spanish as I know, I know that she says at least 15-20 words. She often sings little Spanish songs..oh how I wish I knew what she was singing because they are so sweet and content. She knows Hola, our fave, as she now says it to random people in the sweetest most cheerful of ways. She counts from 1-10 with no problem and up to 15 with help (when going up the stairs.) She knows shoes, babe, buenos dias, and several others. I am quite sure she has always known more but has just been taking in information and not verbalizing it, until now that is. :) She honestly has the sweetest of spirits! If she is scared, or nervous, or gets in trouble, she runs to me, puts her hands on my face and gives me the best kisses. It is her way to make sure all is ok and I love it! Such a sweet spirit! She loves loves to be tickled, just like her sister....of which she ADORES! Last week when her Daddy was here we were walking home from the Zahria / Julieth park, we named it that (of course), and we said, 'Mommy' to which she repeated, and then we said, 'Daddy, again she repeated, and then 'Zahria' and she said that one too. And then we made about 8 animal sounds and she repeated every single one of them. I then said, 'WOOOO' and she repeated that! We all laughed so hard. Such a smartie pants! Today we took the kids, all 3 American Families, to a place called Parque Jaime Duque. It is a wonderful park about 45 minuted from Bogota, so it was a wonderful reprieve from the smog and commotion. The park is pretty huge and has several wonderful rides for the kids, most are not electrically powered, several large structures, a park and a wonderful Zoo. It was a great time! So nice to just get away for the day. The kids were free to run and roam and we had no worries of cars hitting them. We could breathe and they could be kids. We went with Erin (from Missouri) and her sister Brianne and Erin's 3 kids, Lucas (age 5, born in Colombia), Ben (age 3, born in Ethiopia) and Sam (her new addition, age 2, born in Colombia. Kree (from North Dakota) and her son Salvador (age 2, born on the Coast in Colombia.) and the 3 Fellerman Girls. And my favorite sister pic of the day:

A Calling & Faith

Tonight I sit here, nearly ready for bed myself, with the two most wonderfully beautiful little souls snoozing next to me. Both so peaceful (at least right now, later the snoring, teeth grinding and sleeping chattering will ensue I am quite sure.) I blog while listening to the worship CD that my bestie Kimberly Bass made for me prior to leaving for Bogota. The Lord is truly so amazing, so amazing! Who would have ever, in their wildest imagination, thought that I, a girl from small town Colorado, where the most diversity we ever experienced was 2 Hispanic families in all of our High School, would travel first to Kazakhstan for her oldest girl and then to Colombia for the littlest?? Honestly, I can't even fathom the greatness of it all, even now, now that I am living it, have been living it for 5 years. As far back as I can remember, back into my High School years, I have wanted to adopt but seriously never thought it was a reality. I never knew anybody that was adopted or that had even adopted. Why was this in my heart? Was it just a dream? Was it only because my family always teased that I was concieved by the milk man because I looked just a tad different from my family? I can tell you that I did always wonder if someday my parents would say, 'Christy, you were adopted.' I feared that actually. And now, now that I get to experience this most unique love, this amazing gift of adoption, that I will always and forever remember my fear in hearing those words. I want our girls to know that they were created on purpose, that they, just like all children, were created out of love and for a very special purpose. There are NO mistakes in this life! He has a great plan and purpose for us all, and our girls will know this, with every being in me, and in their Daddy, we will be sure they know the plans for their lives are great and amazing and purposeful. Their birth parents may not have planned for them, or been able to care for them as, I am quite sure they wished they had been able to do, but HE created them, on purpose and for a purpose! And He, put adoption in my heart, and then into my husband's heart, for a very important purpose too. He knew that this was His plan for my life! Can I have biological children? Probably, I mean I have never been pregnant, but I have no reason to think that I couldn't concieve. Can my husband have biological children? Yes, he has 4 amazing boys, all of which are biological! So, why adoption for us? Why? Because we prayed about it. Talked about it together. And both came to our own understandings that adoption was calling us! Neither of us felt called to biological. I know this seems odd given I have no biological children. Wouldn't you think that a women, once married, might yearn for this? Wouldn't you think I might yearn for a child that looks like me? A child that shares both Chris and my DNA? Most people wonder this. Some even boldly ask me why not. And all that I can say is that He put adoption in my heart for a great purpose, and I am living that purpose through the miracles of our 2 little girls! I do not yearn for biological, never have, and honestly, I love that our girls don't look like me. I love that they have brown silky hair and big brown eyes. I love their tan skin and their gentle, but fiesty spirits(Julieth is already showing that she is brave and may test us.) I also do not feel called to adoption for the mere reason that the Lord commands us to care for the orphans and widows. This is not a spiritual command that I feel I must fulfill, but it is a gift from the Lord, a gift that was birthed in my heart, by Him, not in my tummy. Listening to His plan is the most wonderfully liberating thing I have ever experienced and it all came because of my journey to Zahria. Her adoption changed my entire world, the person that I am, at the core, is the same but my feelings about my life, what is most important, are all changed, forever. I found the Lord in her adoption and I am forever grateful that I was brave enough to follow His lead, even when I didn't know it was His plan. Faith. So thankful for Faith. So thankful for the gift of my husband and our children, all of them, and how they came to be part of my life!

Leaving on a Jet Plane

Sad day today, Daddy left for home at 6:00 this morning....he had to go home and take care of our Dukers and bring home the bacon. ;) The girls are officially on their own, that is until Grandma and Auntie Becky, and maybe Grandma Fellerman too, arrive! All in all, we still had a great day! Did our usual big walk, Mommy grabbed a Latte & the girls got a cup of fruit at Juan Valdez, shopped for groceries on our own at Exito, went to our hidden park, ate our Yogurt suckers, had lunch at El Refugio, hung out at the house while our new friends arrived..... So, here starts our small world, totally God story. Ended the night with some good Face Time with Daddy, thanks Apple! It was great to see him, all snug as a bug in a rug in his pillow top bed, with a hot shower and a cold beer in a hotel in Atlanta. :) Amazing how time away in another country makes you so appreciated of the comforts we have grown so accustomed to having back home. Julieth 5432the phone about 20 times, such wonderful growth, and Z had so much to tell her Daddy. Zahria is now taking over Daddy's job of giving the 5/4/3/2/1s at night. This is something Daddy is so good at, and that Zahria loves! Daddy, Z and Julieth all love soft touch, Mommy..........not so much, so tickling arms is soothing to them, thus the 5/4/3/2/1 game. On with our 'Small World God Story:' Yesterday, while Daddy was here, we went to one of our favorite city parks, it is a huge green space that used to be a Polo Grounds. There is a small park there that we like, but what we like most is the green space within in the city with wonderful views of the mountains. Anyhow, it was quiet as it was a weekday during work hours. Two other families were there, one being a white couple. Odd to see here. We immediately noticed that he was wearing athletic shorts and a t-shirt. Extra odd as the locals here are all bundled up in long pants, sweaters and coats.....while we sweat mind you. The heat here is so different from back home. Here it is 65 and we get burned. Weird. Anyhow, we spied them from a mile away and I guess they did too. Immediately the wife, Kree, said, 'Are you Americans?' Okay, we stand out like a sore thumb. We laughed and said yep. Come to find out they are from Bismarck, ND.... this is where my brother lives. Crazy small world! After much chatting we found out that they were in their 3rd week of their adoption journey for their 2 year old son Salvador and Troy, the husband, was leaving for ND that night. They were staying in an apartment in a pretty residential area, so they hadn't gotten out much or been able to really meet anyone in Bogota. Needless to say, they both felt pretty isolated. After awhile of talking we told them about our Hotel and they were excited to hear that maybe, just maybe, Kree and Salvodor could switch where they were living and come to our Hotel. We walked them back to our hotel, showed them around and that night they text us that they were moving Kree & Salvador to our hotel on Thursday, which is today. :) So glad they are here. Having 3 American families here is going to be a lot of fun!

Love these 2

Seriously feeling so blessed that these two ladies are our girls! Who would have ever guessed that two girls, from the opposite sides of the globe (Kazakhstan and Colombia) could not only look so similar but have so many of the same little ideosyncrasies! Zahria is truly the best BIG sister ever, so caring and attentive! She gets the best laughs out of just hanging with her little sister and she is right there when I need a toy, diaper change, hand held, sliding partner, etc. And Julieth is the most caring sweet hearted soul, just like her sister. SO fortunate and blessed! Not to mention that they are both pretty stinkin' cute!

Dog Walker

Dog Walker? Yes, it is a very real job here in Colombia! Check this guy out, he is a Master Dog Walker I think, 11 dogs and they are all big dogs! A true Art! Seriously, the dogs all get along with their dog walkers, many are even let lose in the parks and don't run away. They come when they are called and walk in a well mannered fashion all picking their pecking order in the pack. So interesting! Julieth loves them too. She is fascinated by 'El Babes,' which in this case are puppies. Any animal or baby is called an 'el babe' but she especially loves dogs. So thankful for that as Duke is hoping she loves him back home too!

Psychologist Visit & Bienestar Meeting

Last week the psychologist that works at FANA, and has worked with Julieth since she was a baby, came to visit us at El Refugio, her name is Jenny. Jenny was the person that would be with Julieth when we Skyped with her too, so we knew of her already. Jenny was also the person that helped get Julieth all pretty for her presentation to us and she led (or actually Julieth led her) down the hall to meet us, so Jenny knows Julieth quite well. We were so impressed by her last week and during Julieth's presentation. Backtrack just a bit, when I went for Z in Kazakhstan, one of the major things that I liked about that program was that I was able to slowly bond with her. I visited her for 2 hours each morning and 2 hours each afternoon in her orphanage, we did this for 1.5 months. When I was able to take custody of her, she had some knowledge then of me and somewhat trusted me. She would look forward to my visits each day. This is something that is different in the Colombian adoption program, when you travel here, you meet your child right away, sometimes within hours of landing, and you take custody of your child. In speaking to attachment & stranger danger, I fretted this process. So, back to our presentation day. When they brought Julieth in, Jenny helped her transition from clenching to Jenny's hands, to interacting with us to slowly leaving the room. We noticed this all. So, last week when Jenny visited us, we spoke with her about this, and she was so spot on! She talked about attachment, bonding, a child's brain, child development, instutional living, stranger danger, failure to thrive, transitional object from the orphanage to the child's new home (which they sent Julieth to us with her favorite Baby Doll from the Orphanage / FANA because of this very reason!) After talking with Jenny, we felt even better about the care at FANA. Jenny knows of Julieth and her history. She has worked with her on many levels, one of the ways was through music, so Julieth lights up now when she hears music and likes to boogie. :) Love that! The best part of all, when J saw Jenny, and throughout our entire interview with her, Julieth didn't want to even look at her. She clung to me! She knew! You could tell she was worried that Jenny may take her with back to FANA. You could just sense her worry and anxiety, and although we didn't like that, it was great to see that she had already, after just 1 week, started to really attach to us! This week we also had our meeting with Bienestar, they are the organization to protect the rights of children here in Colombia. We met at FANA and our Defender of Minors was there as well as our Attorney. The interview went very well. They asked about our history, intentions, how we learned of Julieth, how bonding was going, what our plans for her future were, etc. We were so worried for Julieth in this as we wondered how she would do going back to FANA. All in all, she did ok. She stayed near to Mommy, Daddy and Z, but she wasn't freaking out. She snuggled mommy and said Hola to some of the ladies at FANA. Everytime we go there, or meet a new person, we are more and more encouraged and impressed. The ladies really do care! It is an amazing orphanage. That said, it is still an orphanage, where kids will never know the love, security and stabililty of a family, but at least, while they are there, they are being taken care of by loving souls. We see this in Julieth on so many levels and are so thankful to the women of FANA!