A Calling & Faith

Tonight I sit here, nearly ready for bed myself, with the two most wonderfully beautiful little souls snoozing next to me. Both so peaceful (at least right now, later the snoring, teeth grinding and sleeping chattering will ensue I am quite sure.) I blog while listening to the worship CD that my bestie Kimberly Bass made for me prior to leaving for Bogota. The Lord is truly so amazing, so amazing! Who would have ever, in their wildest imagination, thought that I, a girl from small town Colorado, where the most diversity we ever experienced was 2 Hispanic families in all of our High School, would travel first to Kazakhstan for her oldest girl and then to Colombia for the littlest?? Honestly, I can't even fathom the greatness of it all, even now, now that I am living it, have been living it for 5 years. As far back as I can remember, back into my High School years, I have wanted to adopt but seriously never thought it was a reality. I never knew anybody that was adopted or that had even adopted. Why was this in my heart? Was it just a dream? Was it only because my family always teased that I was concieved by the milk man because I looked just a tad different from my family? I can tell you that I did always wonder if someday my parents would say, 'Christy, you were adopted.' I feared that actually. And now, now that I get to experience this most unique love, this amazing gift of adoption, that I will always and forever remember my fear in hearing those words. I want our girls to know that they were created on purpose, that they, just like all children, were created out of love and for a very special purpose. There are NO mistakes in this life! He has a great plan and purpose for us all, and our girls will know this, with every being in me, and in their Daddy, we will be sure they know the plans for their lives are great and amazing and purposeful. Their birth parents may not have planned for them, or been able to care for them as, I am quite sure they wished they had been able to do, but HE created them, on purpose and for a purpose! And He, put adoption in my heart, and then into my husband's heart, for a very important purpose too. He knew that this was His plan for my life! Can I have biological children? Probably, I mean I have never been pregnant, but I have no reason to think that I couldn't concieve. Can my husband have biological children? Yes, he has 4 amazing boys, all of which are biological! So, why adoption for us? Why? Because we prayed about it. Talked about it together. And both came to our own understandings that adoption was calling us! Neither of us felt called to biological. I know this seems odd given I have no biological children. Wouldn't you think that a women, once married, might yearn for this? Wouldn't you think I might yearn for a child that looks like me? A child that shares both Chris and my DNA? Most people wonder this. Some even boldly ask me why not. And all that I can say is that He put adoption in my heart for a great purpose, and I am living that purpose through the miracles of our 2 little girls! I do not yearn for biological, never have, and honestly, I love that our girls don't look like me. I love that they have brown silky hair and big brown eyes. I love their tan skin and their gentle, but fiesty spirits(Julieth is already showing that she is brave and may test us.) I also do not feel called to adoption for the mere reason that the Lord commands us to care for the orphans and widows. This is not a spiritual command that I feel I must fulfill, but it is a gift from the Lord, a gift that was birthed in my heart, by Him, not in my tummy. Listening to His plan is the most wonderfully liberating thing I have ever experienced and it all came because of my journey to Zahria. Her adoption changed my entire world, the person that I am, at the core, is the same but my feelings about my life, what is most important, are all changed, forever. I found the Lord in her adoption and I am forever grateful that I was brave enough to follow His lead, even when I didn't know it was His plan. Faith. So thankful for Faith. So thankful for the gift of my husband and our children, all of them, and how they came to be part of my life!