Operation 7+1 Bedtime Routine Underway

Okay, so I think that we both finally feel that we can dream and plan for our littlest. 6 months in, and we are now dreaming. :)!! Last week we met with Holly Van Gulden, she is an AMAZING attachment specialist here in the Twin Cities, talk about insight!! We gained SO many valuable pebbles from our meeting with her. One of our many talks with Holly was regarding our travel to Colombia. We are still unsure as to whether Z will stay in country with me or if she will travel back home with Daddy. Colombia's adoption process does require a long in-country stay, however only one of the parents is required to stay the entire time, so, as much as we would both love to stay the required 1-2 months in Colombia, we just can't make that a reality......Daddy needs to come home and hold down the fort and 'bring home the bacon' as we like to call it. So, with that said, we will all travel to Colombia together initially and Daddy will stay 1-2 weeks, and I will stay the 1-2 months (which depends solely on which court we get.....) The question becomes, what is best regarding Zahria. Should she stay in country with me or should she come home with Daddy? Ahhhh such a tough one!!! We now agree that there is no ideal answer. Like Holly said, 'ideally' Chris and I would stay in country, along with Zahria, the entire time...... but, like I said, we can't do the ideal, so now we need to decide not only what is best for Zahria, but what is best for Julieth, and what is best for Daddy & what is best for Mommy. That is what being a family is all about right?!! In that, Holly recommended that if Z stays in country the entire time, that there be a 2nd adult with us the entire time. Zahria will be going through a lot of transition, she will sharing time / love / snuggles. She will be in a new place, sleeping in a new bed, eating new food, adjusting to a new routine, getting used to the idea of a new sister and a mommy that no longer can give her 100% of my attention. It will be tough. Zahria needs another adult, that she is already connected to, that can take some of that pressure off of me, that can love on Z and give her the love and attention that she will need seperate of me..... and who on earth could stay in country with us for 1-2 months? That is asking the moon and stars of anyone. Yet, both Chris and I see how that would be important. If Julieth is needy, if she is emotional, if she cries a lot or gets angry, Zahria may get mad at her in protection of me. There are just so many emotions. SO, the other option is for Zahria to fly home with Daddy. Ohhh my aching heart. To see my husband and daughter leave will be so tough. Again, with Holly's recommendation, if this is the route we go, we need to be sure that Zahria is not shuffled around from home to home or sitter to sitter while I am in Colombia with Julieth. The reality is that Chris and I work real estate, so we do have random schedules. The blessing, we are flexible; however, we do work some nights and weekends. How do we make this work without shifting her around? Again, the blessing is that our jobs are flexible. :) Chris works an open house, for his new construction model, each weekend..... The model is a block from our home, and he can take Zahria with him to the model. We can set up a kid's corner for her to read, color, play, watch a movie, etc. It should be no problem. Grandma has said that she can fly in for a week or two to help too, which would be AMAZING! My sister has also said that she can come up to hang with Z too. Originally we thought that Z could go down to Becky's for a weekend or two, but in listening to the logic in Holly's advise, we would shift that up so Auntie Becky came up to hang with Z versus Zahria going to Auntie Becky's. We can do this! We can! Knowing Zahria's beginnings, and our attachments to each other, being away from each other for 1-2 months is going to cause a break in our attachment, regardless, it will. It would even if Z hadn't had her first year of life spent in a baby house. Any kid would feel somewhat abandoned if their mom or dad left for that long. SAD sad reality that I absolutely hate to think about!!! If she stays in country with me, there will be a break with Dad and if she goes home with Daddy, there will be a break with me. My heart, either way, it is tough. Can this be repaired? Yes. with time. Can the transition be lightened with careful consideration and planning. Yes. So, that leads us to tonight. Nightimes are Mommy's time, just as mornings are Daddy's time with Zahria. That said, we need to start shifting things up now, to start planning for the months to come. So, tonight Daddy did the night time routine. He has, of course, done this before, but the total norm is that this is Mommy's time. Tonight Daddy did the brush teeth, go potty, get pj's on, read a book, rock-a-bye and put to bed with prayers routine. We plan to have Mommy do nightime about 2/3rds of the time and Daddy 1/3 for a little spell, and then we will move it to 50/50. We want it to become more normal as we move closer to travel time. Just one of our many plans to start the transition to transition. :-) The Blessings of Being a Family!!!